Corey's Counterpoint
Adamant Self-advocacy
Your hear-and-read option:
Listen to Corey’s story as you read it (below).
Corey settled into the stiff, vinyl-covered examination chair, a sigh escaping his lips. He'd been looking forward to this appointment with Dr. Albright, hoping to address the persistent tingling in his fingertips, a disconcerting side effect, he surmised, of his new blood pressure medication.
Instead, he felt like he had walked into a kindergarten classroom.
"Well, Corey, how are we feeling today?" Dr. Albright chirped, her voice a shade too high, her smile a touch too wide. She patted his knee, a gesture that, while intended to be reassuring, felt distinctly condescending.
"I'm experiencing some tingling in my hands, Doctor," Corey began, his voice firm, though a touch strained. "It's been quite persistent since I started the new medication."
"Oh, those little aches and pains," Dr. Albright dismissed, waving a hand dismissively. "That's just part of getting older, Corey. Nothing to worry about."
"With all due respect, Doctor," Corey said, his voice a low rumble, "it's more than 'little aches and pains.' It's interfering with my ability to play the piano, and I've noticed a significant decrease in my fine motor skills."
Dr. Albright chuckled, a sound that grated on Corey’s nerves. "Well, you know, Corey, our bodies aren't as spry as they used to be. It's just old age catching up with you."
Corey’s jaw tightened. He had lived through the Great Depression as a kid, fought in Korea as a young man, and built a successful accounting firm from the ground up. He wasn’t about to be dismissed like a child.
"Doctor," Corey said, his voice measured, "I've done some research. I've compiled a list of my symptoms, along with potential interactions between my blood pressure meds and the other pills I'm taking."
He pulled a neatly-typed document from his briefcase, the pages filled with meticulously organized information. He slid it across the examination table.
Dr. Albright’s smile faltered. She glanced at the document, her eyes widening slightly. "Corey, you don't need to trouble yourself with all of this," she said, her tone still saccharine but with a hint of unease. "I'm the doctor here. I know what's best."
"Indeed you are, Doctor," Corey replied, his voice calm but unwavering. "And, as your patient, I have a right to be informed about my health. I've cited several medical journals, including the New England Journal of Medicine and the Lancet. I’d appreciate it if you’d take a moment to review them."
Dr. Albright picked up the document, her eyes scanning the pages. A flicker of surprise crossed her face. "Well, this is … thorough," she admitted, her tone less condescending.
"I've also noted that the tingling in my hands is a known side effect of this particular medication, especially in conjunction with my cholesterol pills," Corey continued. "It's listed as a potential cause of peripheral neuropathy."
Dr. Albright's eyes darted back to the document. She cleared her throat. "Well, I suppose it's possible," she conceded, her voice now tinged with professional caution. "However, I still believe it's primarily due to your age."
"Then I'd like a second opinion," Corey said, his voice firm. "I'd like to see a neurologist, preferably one who specializes in geriatric neurology."
Dr. Albright’s eyes widened. "A neurologist?" she asked, her voice incredulous. "Corey, that's hardly necessary."
"I believe it is," Corey insisted. "I'm not content to accept 'old age' as an explanation for every ailment. I want to understand what's happening to my body, and I want to explore all possible treatment options."
Dr. Albright sighed, a sound of reluctant acquiescence. "Very well, Corey," she said, her voice now devoid of its patronizing sweetness. "I'll refer you to a neurologist. But I still think you're making a fuss over nothing."
Corey stood up, his posture ramrod straight. "Perhaps," he said, his eyes meeting hers. "But I'd rather be a fussing old man than a dismissed one."
He left the examination room, a sense of quiet satisfaction settling over him. He knew that the fight wasn't over. He would have to navigate the bureaucracy of referrals and appointments, and he would likely encounter more condescending medical professionals along the way. But he was determined to advocate for himself, to assert his right to informed, respectful care.
As he walked out of the clinic, he thought of his piano, the keys waiting for his touch. He wouldn’t let anyone, not even a well-meaning doctor, dim the lights on his mature, and still vibrant, life.
Also hear and read Corey’s “parent story” from 2024
Go to “Casey’s Experience with Condescension”
Age: Our Greatest Asset!
Jim Hasse, ABC, GCDF retired, author of “52 Shades of Graying”
Weekly Stories About Aging Well
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This is not a first-hand situation, but I was surprised when I heard about this incident within my extended family.
Two years ago, an 80-year-old woman, Gladys, who was otherwise healthy, developed an irregular heart beat. Her doctor tried several meds and treatments to correct Gladys’s heart condition, but nothing was working.
Don, Gladys’s son, did his own research and found that a pacemaker is commonly used to correct irregular heartbeat. He asked Gladys’s doctor about the pacemaker option, and the doctor, at first, dismissed the idea “due to Gladys’s age.”
After Don and Gladys persisted, she finally got her pacemaker. And she’s doing fine today
* When have you had to clarify that your age should not be the only factor in making medical decisions?